The Motions of Anxiety
A warm nauseating feeling in my stomach tells me something is wrong.
I reflect on the day and think back to conversations that I may have slighted someone during...
Yet, nothing comes to mind.
However, my heart begins to pick up pace. People tell me I'm a good person, but I feel as if I have committed treason against those who love me.
I'm trying to put my finger on a nonexistent bill I forgot to pay. I begin to sweat, I want to scream but in this social setting it's unacceptable. So, I smile instead. It puts minds at ease and answer silent prayers from loud eyes.
I want to be fine but I messed something up, something I cannot remember. In this setting outside my four walls of comfort I am percieved as weird "They all hate you" my brain screams. I feel I am a faulty part in society's machine, my cogs do not turn as fast as others. I am damaged, rusty, deteriorated from so many cold and damp nights alone. The people who love me only feel sorry for me, I guess pity is an emotion though.